Yes, and...

“The couple that plays together stays together.”

At least that is what I have heard. Jeff has A LOT of hobbies. He likes wine, is obsessed with techie gadgets/tablets/phones/computers, loves video games, and is a huge Bears fan. I like um, well, I like uh, girls night out, date nights, Dave Matthews Band concerts, um, whiskey, writing some blogs? Let’s just say that I have never invested myself into a hobby. I don’t have any real skills, I don’t have any specific interests, and I have never been particularly drawn to anything. I spent most of last year writing blogs about trying to “find my passion” and awaken my spirit. I felt trapped and bored in the monotony of life, so I began to write.

Throughout the past couple of devastating months, I have had the unexpected opportunity to reevaluate my life and my passions. I had to figure out who I was as a person to help aid me in healing my soul and moving on with life. I decided that I needed to take more risks, travel more, get out of my comfort zone and say YES! more often.

I have a couple good friends that are improv performers and if I have learned nothing else from them, it’s the “Yes, and…” philosophy. When on stage in an improve scene, an actor should accept a situation (or audience suggestion) and is usually accompanied by another actor adding a new offer, building on the first suggestion; this is a process improvisers refer to as "Yes, And..." . If you have ever read Tina Fey’s Bossypants, she totally explains it better, funnier and more eloquently than I. Tina Fey is amazing. I mean, have you watched Mean Girls? Her Sarah Palin was impression was complete perfection, and man, she pulls off nerd glasses like no other! RIght? I have never watched 30 Rock, but I am told that I should, which remind me, we need to get Netflix. Anyways, I digress… Every new piece of information added helps the improvisers refine their characters and progress the action of the scene.

So, where am I going with this? I am starting my own Yes, and… life. I want to progress my own scene. I felt so stagnant, most likely because I was, and I didn’t have the fucking balls to do anything about it. I want to refine my character. I want to grow with added information. But, the only way that I can say Yes more often is to get off my ass. I need to put myself out there, make some mistakes, be willing to look stupid and enjoy the ride. Feel the fear and do it anyways, as my Dad always says.

Jeff and I don’t have a lot of hobbies in common. (I mean, Rocky, Magic, Playstation, Star Wars, Android versions, red wine??) So, I told him that I would take an interest in one of his hobbies. Up until this point, I was fine with his nerd hobbies not involving me, but now I realize that we need to have more joint interests to enjoy together. In the past, I never wanted to watch his choice of movie, I never liked his choice of restaurant, and I was quick to negate most of his suggestions. I want spicy food on a funky patio with a margarita, he wants some duck breast small plate while drinking fancy wine in an over-hyped restaurant. We just don’t quite meet in the middle.

I don’t like wine, I have never watched Star Wars (he made me watch it when we first starting dating and I asked him why the Enterprise was flying by on a string), I don’t have a favorite sports team and I don’t keep up with technology (I don’t  even know how to update my own damn phone). So I let him choose which hobby he would like me to enjoy with him. The choices were: wine, technology or sports.

He is trying to make healthier choices, so he ruled out wine, technology isnt much of a collaborative effort, so we agreed on sports. I bartend, so a bit of sports trivia or even general knowledge is always a great conversation starter. Bar guests are constantly asking me if I watched the game or what the final score was. I always stare at them blankly, offer them the newspaper and pour them another cocktail. No longer, my friend. I drafted my Fantasy Football team and I am ready to go. I cannot wait for my players to start penetrating some tight ends…

xoxo

 

 

Ps.  Week one, my fantasy team is playing Jeff’s fantasy team. May the best spouse win. Geaux Saints! (wish me luck!)