Let’s just start by
saying this has been the worst year on record for our household.
It all started on October 8, 2012. The fateful day that we, My Wife and I, had to call the Vet and put down our beloved puppy girl Belle after she refused to eat (and it was found that she had Cancer). Not more than 30 minutes passed from calling the Vet to My Wife getting the call that would change us forever. Her recent biopsy came back positive for Breast Cancer. WTF? My Wife lost it on the phone. Then as the caregiver and rock, I went into overdrive to make sure My Wife was taken care of completely.
Now, the word Cancer
is bad enough, but I think the Staging of Cancer might be worse (initially
Stage 0). We saw doctor after doctor to
get our hands around the Cancer,
before we broke out the surgical knife.
We had more tests than I thought possible on a single boob. During our testing we reached out to a friend
that helped us make it thru the process.
She was awesome and needs to be “Thanked” over and over. We saw two breast surgeons and two plastic
surgeons. The process from each surgeon was
completely different than the other.
With the thought of Cancer,
time was of the essence, so we didn’t go past two doctors. We did research and asked friends and found
out that the ones we picked were, “The Best of the Best”. So, one hurdle is over and now to plan the
surgery. In talking with the Breast
Surgeon, it is determined to get a bilateral Mastectomy with Reconstruction at
the same time. While at the Plastic
Surgeon’s office we get to test the implants to see what kind we want (saline,
silicone, ribbed silicone). When the
Surgeon comes in he goes to the window and opens this little treasure
chest. It contains all the samples. The saline one is missing half the water, so
he leaves the room to refill it.
Hmm! Could we get flasks
installed? Would make it convenient to
get liquor into parties and movies (one could have her alcohol and one could
have my alcohol). HeeHee… So, the Wife lies on the table and puts the
implant on her chest to see what she thinks.
Of course, I test them by squeezing them and see what they feel
like. We decide on the new generation
silicone (non-leaky).
I am all for fake boobs, but when it comes to the end of the
year diagnosis, fake boobs for Christmas need to take back seat to fake boobs
due to Cancer. I mean, really, My Wife could die and I have
to schedule the surgery around Buffy who wants a new pair of boobs for
Christmas. Really? And so the scheduling game and anxiety set it
in. How about this day? Nope, we have Buffy getting a new pair for
Christmas. How about this day? Okay, but can you be here around 1? Whew, the date is set as November 29th,
2012.
Back to work, I tell the Boss, here is what is going on, I
will be out for a couple days. My Mom
commits to being here as long as we need her.
Man was that a relief. She flies
in the day before, we go out and have a Pre-Surgery Meal (kind a like a last
supper for the boobs). A Brother-in-law
and Fiancé fly in for the surgery on their way to a funeral for My Wife’s Aunt. Surgery should be about 6 hours. So, we get My Wife into the procedure and go
grab lunch across the street. My phone
rings, it is the OR nurse, she confirms that I am the Husband, then pauses…….man
my heart starts beating out of my chest…she calmly starts to say, everything is
okay. I say thanks and hang up the
phone. Motherf*ck3r, next time just talk
real fast, “No pauses please”, I tell everyone at the table My Wife is doing
well. They proceed to call a couple more
times during the surgery. So, “the
pause”, doesn’t freak me out as bad.
Waiting for a loved one in Surgery is agonizing. Thankfully Mom, Brother-in-law and Fiancé
were there to help make the time go by.
When the first part of the surgery is over, the Breast
Surgeon comes out and gives us a debriefing.
Claims he got all the tissue he could and that the Plastic Surgeon is
working his magic. Couple more hours and
then the Plastic Surgeon came out and gave us his take on the surgery. We still can’t see My Wife until she makes it
to recovery. So, the Brother-in-law and
Fiancé take off to their next stop, the funeral in another town. Mom and I wait patiently, bull sh!t, we wait
nervously to see My Wife. See, in 6
hours they scraped out the old boobs and put in new ones. It was amazing to see her and see she still
had boobs. The medical profession is
amazing in what it can do to the body. The
room we had for recovery was awesome thanks to our friend having
connections. It was a suite in the
corner of the building. My Wife woke up
and was almost pain free and was really hungry.
Mom and I fed her everything she would eat (Jell-O, Gelato, ice) it was
amazing how hungry she was after surgery.
The following day, all our Friday Dinner Crowd appeared. They brought gifts and flowers. Truly hit the spot.
So, to recap, we have been diagnosed, found two surgeons, had surgery
and now have a new set of twins, and it has been less than 60 days………
The recovery of the surgery was hard due to the four pumps
that were installed to remove the puss from the internal wounds. I say puss, but is more like that clear stuff
that comes out of a scab while it is healing.
Mom and I have the responsibility of collecting and recording this stuff
three times a day, until the next Doctor appointment. So, like clockwork, we check, collect and
write down our findings. About 10 days
go by and two of the four are removed (one from each side). Then we check, collect and write our findings
until the last two are removed. This
takes about ten more days. We also had
to change dressing’s every day, sometimes twice a day. We should have bought stock in surgical
supplies, as we used a ton of non-stick pads and ointment.
Man, this is work! I can’t
believe anyone would do this surgery for vanity….Buffy beware!
Finally she is free of the pumps!!!!
So, we go in to see the Breast Surgeon about what the
Pathology results are from the surgery.
Here we are thinking it is XX and he says it is YYY and then some. Well damnit!
As mentioned above, the Staging part is bull sh!t (now we are Stage IIA). They need to say, “You are going to die!”,
then when the diagnosis gets better, things start looking up. For us, it was, “This is XX and should be
non-invasive to lymph nodes” then after the Path report it was YYY and had
invaded some lymph nodes. Lucky Us! So, now My Wife gets to have Chemo and we have
to see an Oncologist. This time, we went
with the referred Doctor and didn’t second guess the treatment.
We go see the Oncologist and he is every bit as crazy as a
mad scientist, with a British accent. He
draws out the treatment plan and what to expect (from A to Z) and is ready to
start as soon as we are ready. We are
all set for January 3rd, 2013 and that starts the beginning of Chemo
for 6 treatments every 3 weeks. Once
Chemo is over, there is another treatment for 12 treatments every 3 weeks,
ending December 26th, 2013.
Chemo in the beginning was easy for me to brush off, because I was
taking care of My One and Only. The more
treatments, the more horrible it was for My Wife and Me. I didn’t know what to expect or how to cope
with it. I just made it My priority to
make sure My Wife had everything she needed and more. I didn’t want her to want or need anything. So, she was watched/cared for round the
clock. My body decided to cope, with all
this, by producing hemorrhoids and lower back pain (TMI?). I guess the stress on my body was more than I
was expecting. Sometimes I even had
phantom pains and symptoms when My Wife would be getting Chemo and the days
after the treatment. She was totally
wiped out for 2 - 3 days after treatment.
So, during the cold winter months we spent lots of time on the couch
watching TV. As the treatments
progressed and the weather got warmer we would venture out of the house. We now have a pill for every side effect
mentioned by the mad scientist (runs, nausea, constipation, heartburn, anxiety,
you name it, we have a pill for it). As
we coped with Chemo side effects, My hemorrhoids reared their ugly head and I
ended up having surgery for them in June.
I had to wait for Chemo to be over and see the side effects of the next
treatment before I could fix Myself. The
current treatments have very few side effects.
We both can’t wait for December 26, 2013.
As part of the process, My Wife shaved her head in January
and a week or so later I shaved My head in support of My Wife (as did Mom’s
husband). We were told to shave her head
before the hair just fell out in clumps.
My Wife’s hair eventually went completely away and she was as bald as a
Baby, My Baby. I have a friend at work
that got me a shaver made to shave your head without cutting you to
pieces. I kept my head shaved until
about October. It is amazing how
freaking cold you are without hair, so for now, I will keep My hair cut short,
but not shaved.
After Chemo we get sent to Radiation. They will Radiate only the Cancer side not the other side. My thought, just Radiate both and cover your
bases. Radiation is 5 weeks Monday thru
Friday and you pay a co-pay for every visit.
We ask about the co-pay and find out that My Wife has really awesome
insurance compared to others. We find
out that aloe-vera is your friend and go by a bottle at the pharmacy that comes
with a pump on it. Seems Radiation
causes a surface burn on your skin, like a bad day at the beach. So, everyday My Wife lathers up with
aloe-vera to keep the skin moist. In the
last part of the 4th week her skin is dark and starting to peel
really bad under her armpit. It gets so bad;
it looks as though she has a 3rd degree burn. Radiation is over and we move on.
Overall, My Wife has been a Rock Star with all this sh!t. She rocked a bald head and looks gorgeous
with short hair. She looks like a
Zillion Dollars now. So, now let’s see
how this year has made US better…..
Mind you, we posted very little, if anything on FB about our
fight with Cancer (or called people, we kept the news personal and delivered it
in person). Partly because, we don’t
believe FB is the best medium for telling all our drama. With that said, our Friends are worth their
weight in GOLD/PLATINUM you name the commodity and they are worth it to
Infinity and Beyond. I will never be
able to repay all that we have been given this year while fighting this battle. We did lose a longtime friend over this
battle, since we didn’t personally tell her about the situation, she felt
betrayed and it went crazy from there.
For all of you that stuck it out with us, “Thank You”.
As for me, I am concerned for the future and what it holds. I can’t handle movies with a person dying of
Cancer, as in Best Man Holiday, I cried like a baby when those scenes
unfolded. As for movies I saw before the
diagnosis, like Family Stone, they don’t bother me. I know we are going to be okay, but time will
tell and make things better for my psyche.
My Wife and I don’t want to be defined by Breast Cancer, but do want to
help and be supportive of those with the disease.
And now for 2014……
It will be our 25th Wedding Anniversary. With just that, the year is going to be
better than 2013.
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