New Year: 2014.

I have no New Year Resolution. I don’t keep them, I don’t remember them, I simply don’t have willpower or drive. (Although NYE ’06 I decided to quit smoking and have not picked up a cigarette since…so there is that) Otherwise, I am not to be trusted.

This year, I want to challenge myself to selfishness. That sounds awful, right? I am challenging myself to be more selfish. Please don’t misunderstand, I am no martyr, I just don’t do much for myself. I am definitely working on it, and this past summer’s completely disastrous clusterfuck gave me true perspective. Jeff has a passion for his job, I have my sweet babies all day, but I see this faint light. A little beacon in the distance, like the blinking of a lighthouse on the opposite shore. But, I SEE IT.

I am going to enroll in something. I don’t know quite what yet, but something that I have to pay for and has a beginning and ending time. Something that will hold me accountable. Something that I can not just blow off. I want something that will bring me out of my comfort zone.

Here are my possible ideas:

1.     Gym membership. Get my ass in gear. Seriously, I would have a whole new wardrobe if I would just lose 20 lbs. Maybe I can even figure out what the hell “spinning” is or “burpies” (sounds gross)? It seems all the cool kids are doing it. Oh, or that acrobatic thing with the sheets on a rope and you swing around all Cirque-like! THAT. I want to do that.

2.     Improv classes. Talk about out of my comfort zone. I have a best friend that teaches/preforms improv in Dallas and he agrees that I should take the leap and sign up for classes. They don’t have any that work with my schedule this upcoming session, but I have been rolling this idea around for a while.

3.     Dance classes. Anyone that knows me knows that I DO NOT DANCE. Ever. Maybe once. But not often, and never sober. Ever. I am awful. Awkward. Off beat. Self-conscious. It’s the worst. I have asked Jeff to take a couples class with me. He agreed! I need to find one that happens on our date nights…solidarity in bad dancing commence!

4.      Master Gardner classes. I remember my mom taking hundreds of hours of classes at the extension service putting in all her volunteer credits. It was intensive to say the least. Well, shit, nevermind. They are all full for the 2014 class. Nevermind. Good, it sounded like too much of a commitment anyways.

5.      Sell Something? All of these people are hosting jewelry/makeup/Tupperware/lifestyle stuff…in home, pyramid-scheme-ish things. Some people seem to do really well and go on vacations and get cars! I could do that, maybe. But, I would have to really believe in the product. I don’t know, seems like a gimmick. Maybe not. I don’t know, maybe. (Can you tell that I am really on the fence about the whole thing?)

6.      Start a Club. I know, I know, I have talked about this before. A monthly book club. What is that quote? We are a wine club with a book problem? Something like that. I would have to read at least a book a month…and Jeff did get me a new NOOK since my screen got all nicked. (I never got a case for it…oops. Moral of the story: get a case for your reader)

7.       Join a writing group. I am sure there are some out there, right? Will they make me write? I need someone to hold my feet to the fire!

8.       Enroll in SMU Writers Path classes. I am going to ask for this for my birthday. I had planned on taking them over the summer and, well, I was a bit busy with the complete upheaval of my life.