A House Divided

Jeff moves out this weekend. Well, he is subletting a friend’s house while she is gone for the month of August. This is a temporary solution to our separation plan. While he lives at her house we will begin a mock trial situation regarding finances and child custody tradeoffs. I will begin my new schedule working two additional nights a week and the extra income will help cover deposits for the new apartment and our legal fees.

Thankfully the timing couldn't have been better. Jeff living rent free for a month is saving our ass with all the new costs accrued with living in two separate households. We both want to make sure that all the bills are paid and that once our bank accounts are separated we find ourselves in a good place financially. I have been a (mostly) stay at home mom for over four years, so I am not used to being responsible for (helping) with financial obligations. With our new family arrangement, I will be working the nights that the kids will be with Jeff during the week. We are calling his days "Daddy Days" and the term is working out really well. The kids are so excited for quality Daddy time and it makes his days with them seem fun, exciting and something to look forward to. On Saturday the kids and I had a birthday party to attend and while we were in the car Ella announces, “I am having so much fun on Mommy Day!” Thanks, kid! I love the way her little mind works; compartmentalizing Daddy Days vs. Mommy Days. Maybe we aren’t screwing her up as much as I thought. Maybe? Hopefully? *crosses finger* *silent prayer*

Truthfully though, the kids are well acquainted with missing their dad. Jeff traveled so much when Ben was little and then when he switched jobs we got used to his 12hr+ days. They saw him for ten minutes in the morning and that was about it until his days off every week. His workhorse schedule was excellent preparation for our new family dynamic. I think the new arrangement is honestly harder on Jeff and me. I have to explain where daddy is staying at night, why they won’t see him in the morning and when they will see him again. Sometimes it’s heartbreaking. Ella misses her dad all day; I know this because she must say it at least 20 times between waking up and going to bed at night. I don’t think this situation is any easier on Jeff. Conversation from yesterday:

Jeff: I miss them a lot.

Me: They miss you.

Jeff: Guess it’s our new reality.

Me: Pretty much.

Our new reality sucks. Parts of it do, at least.  I never envisioned my current reality so I think it is the disappointment in my planning that really chaps my hide. But, after pinning way too many inspirational quotes on Pinterest I have to accept that:

 

 



I also have come to realize that:

 



And, this just makes me laugh:

 

xoxo