2013
The year ended the same way it
began. I determinedly tried to balance motherhood, career, graduate school,
and homemaker. I had moments of
confidence, humility, self-doubt, frustration and gratitude. At times I felt victorious, inspired,
defeated, exhausted and indecisive. Through it all I learned self-awareness,
compromise and acceptance.
We settled down in our home that
we bought last year, still in awe of the life we never imagined possible. Each
day we made memories watching our boys grow, learn and play. With each
pregnancy I prayed that my children would be happy, healthy, and smart. God
blessed me with handsome, loving sons who exceeded my prayers. My husband exemplifies fatherhood through his
love, loyalty, and protection. I often wondered if I gave enough attention to
my children and husband. Did I truly listen? Was I patient? Did I make them my
priority? Have I taken them for granted?
My career transitioned from
bedside nurse on a bone marrow transplant floor to a leadership position on a
thoracic surgery floor. Honored with two nursing awards that I never believed I
deserved, I received attention that made me uneasy. In admiration of the
recipients of honorees before me, I felt a tremendous responsibility to give
back to the profession that gave me so much. Caring for cancer patients has
taught me what it is to fight, to love, to suffer, to regret, and to hope. Each
patient who has let me into their journey has made me a better person.
Hopefully I did not dedicate
countless hours to writing papers in vain. I couldn’t reclaim the sacrificed
time with friends and family. How many times did I let the laundry overflow, my
kids watch Yo Gabba Gabba, and my toenail polish get chipped? When would people
realize that I wasn’t the graceful professional I tried so hard to present? Has
perfectionism distracted me from learning to just be?
Meagan's side note: Colleen was selected as the recipient of the prestigious Ethel Fleming Arceneaux Award. Check out the video below, they surprised her at work with the announcement! Its really touching and such an honor!! Congratulations, Colleen!
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