ok here it goes...2013 in a nutshell.
I am a passionate person. Positive and always happy to help. I find that this has also caused me at times to over commit or extend too far and end up falling on my face. It's OK though, no one ever really knows and I just pick myself up and try again, shine on, or keep moving and don't look back (until Meagan asks me to!) Being a mom that is blessed to stay at home and be a homemaker, I can relate and share the same stories of not feeling like I'm doing the right thing or being good enough, how do I take care of me and the hubby and the kids?! In all the sweet moments of joy & bliss and nagging worry & doubt, I learned this past year that it's all about my relationships and my family! (I include friends here, everyone is an aunt or uncle to our kids which will probably confuse them one day.)
We have been in Sugar Land for a year and a half now and the move away from everything and everyone we had known and love and the place we had thought to set roots was bitter sweet. Jacob and I met in Dallas; I stayed after college, we bought a home, had our boys, and made my brother move back to Texas! So I'd like to think I was a contributing factor to him relocating :) When we packed up and had so many friends stop by and send farewells and say that they'd visit and we'd keep in touch, to be honest I didn't want to go. I didn't think we'd really stay in touch. AND remember friends are family. So I felt like I was saying goodbye to 15 years of what I had known to be my life. To say hello to new adventures was exciting don't get me wrong because it was with my partner in crime and our two little monsters. Looking back I can say "WOW! I have amazing friends and we have ALL kept in touch!" Is it possible to even rekindle old friendships too because of the move? YES, I was taken away from my daily routine to sit still in a town where I didn't know but only one person, I had the time to reach out! Since we've been gone, Dallas comes to me and I go to Dallas. We celebrate birthdays, have girls trips, family time, trick or treat, and "just because we can" visits all the time! What a blessing!!
Jacob was taking a leap of faith to change up the career and go from insurance to manufacturing, which I support him and knew it was & is a ride we are on together! Being where we are is super special to me because of a dear girlfriend name Tara :) We had met at the bus stop in Round Rock in the 4th and 5th grade! Did I tell you we are 34 now?!! WOW!! Through middle school, high school, college, weddings, babies, and whatever else life threw at us we have stayed in touch. NOW, we get to live in the same city after 15 years of being apart!! I love her!! What a crazy thing to see our kids play and to know we were close to their age when we met. Life is funny in that way. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW!
Transition, Change, Movement....it's what keeps us alive. Our blood flows, we take deep breaths, and open our eyes to see what's ahead.
I attempted to work from home, just 20 hours that's all I needed to do a week and would be able to live that dream of not waiting tables and just be with my family, while working from home. Well.... I only lasted a couple months and was fired! It's not as harsh as it may seem when one says they were fired, but truthfully I couldn't put in the time! Our boys are still young and I didn't know how to do it. AND. IT. IS. HARD. TO. WORK. FROM. HOME! I admire those who can stay focused and not wonder off to do house chores or just raid the frig or mess with laundry!! Ha! Maybe it's just me. So there goes a little bit of my self confidence and a little pride, felt like a failure, more than anything that I had let my friend, the boss, down :( So I look on the bright side. I have a great relationship with my friends and I can hold my head high because it was a chance I took, that we both took. Even though it didn't turn out like we wanted, I was reminded that raising my boys is my priority right now. Everyone says it, "they grow up fast, enjoy these moments!"
Which brings me to the baby bug that for some reason still has a grip on me! Jacob and I decided lets try for one more, we need a girl right? Talk about thinking you know everything to you know and control nothing! While on our adult vacation to some friends' wedding in Jackson Hole, WY we found ourselves in a 24 hour tour of the amazing St. John's Medical Center of Jackson. Long and short, I had an ectopic pregnancy!! 8 cm mass on left ovary and you will have surgery in 12 hours. No words, just that blank look on your face and jaw slightly open as to speak but nothing comes out... YUP, that was us. Ryder & Lincoln were great pregnancies and deliveries so didn't think anything like this would happen. However, on that note- my focus is the relationships in my life, right. Wendy, the bride to be, came to the hospital at 1 am to check on me and was the most amazing friend to leave notes and be so thoughtful when she was walking down the isle in 2 days!!
This year has been awesome; with trials & tribulations, gut wrenching situations to make me stronger, tests to make me wiser, and all with my soul mate by my side. I feel like everyone has their version of the same story. Not to dismiss or down play anyone's life. Just to realize we all struggle, laugh, cry, and pray. To do it all with family and make relationships that last along the journey that's what I hope for and wish for all in this world.
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