December 2nd: Michael: Thirty is the new Fifty

As I near the age of AARP registration, I've realized I'm not as clueless about life as I thought. Living day to day presents a never-ending stream of decisions, challenges, opportunities, accidents, good times and headaches. After completing my first full-year as a resident of New York City and as I see the age of 30 on the horizon, I've come up with two nuggets of truths I want to share with the world.

Lesson One: Live your life because no one will live it for you. I'll be the first to admit I used to look at my life and think, "I've done nothing I was supposed to." The problem is the persistent stereotype of the steps of life: going to college, getting a great job, getting married, buying the perfect home and having kids. I thought I failed miserably at life as I reached my late 20s. I was still waiting tables with a college degree. There was no Prince Charming by my side bound by the vow of marriage let alone children and I was still renting. What had I done with my life?

It wasn't until last month on a visit back to Texas that I had the drunken epiphany that my life is just fine and dandy. I don't have to compare it to anyone else's to give it value. This moment of clarity came as I sat around a table with my very best friends from high school. They shared stories of wedding planning, divorce, married life, plans for children and work. I sat there with my umpteenth vodka soda, listened, gave my input, congratulated but I quietly realized I wanted none of that...at least right now. I didn't feel those stabbing jealousy pains like before. For once my life didn't seem to be any less significant than theirs..different but no better or worse.

 I thought about why that was. It wasn’t that I no longer wanted those things. I just finally realized my life is pretty awesome just the way it is. I moved across the country to pursue my career goals and live in my dream city, I’m having random adventures, exploring this international city, barhopping when I want. It took me this long to realize only one person determines how your life should be—you. You don’t have to live like The Cleavers. The moral to this story is: don't ever let yourself question the value of your life because you don’t have a man/woman or you aren’t working your dream job…yet. Stop wasting your time worrying. Love your life. Live it. Appreciate it. It's the only one you get.

Lesson Two: Ain't Nobody Got Time for That. Most people don't find their spiritual guidance from a YouTube viral video star. But I'm not most people. This may be a selfish life lesson but it's one that has quickly become a favorite of mine. I don't know how many birthdays, showers, house warmings, movie/game nights, celebrations I've gone over the years because I felt I had to. Ain't nobody got time for that. Trust me, in my early 20s if I wasn’t at work then I was at the bar or someone’s house. By my late 20s…I just couldn’t do it anymore and at 29, I realized I can say, "No." Not having the money, tired, work early the next day or just simply not wanting to go are perfectly valid reasons for missing an event.

I'm not advocating shutting yourself in your house for the rest of your life, collecting cats and letting trash pile up to the ceiling. I just say pick and choose the right times to be social. Sometimes you just want to sit at home, eat popcorn and watch your stories by yourself. A good and true friend won't hold missing his/her "Hunger Games" movie night against you...for very long. "No" is a great word. Don't be afraid to use it.

 There is a certain joy in getting older…maybe it’s the wisdom or the rush of ecstasy when you get carded. I’ll say it’s the wisdom, either way what I've just shared may not win the Nobel Peace Prize or seem to be of value to anyone at this moment. However, as you blow out those candles on your 29th birthday cake I think you'll remember this blog and say to yourself, “That old guy was right.”

 Michael is an aspiring fashion journalist, blogger, stylist, reality show star, novelist and trophy wife. He currently waits tables in Manhattan and just updates Facebook a lot.

Meagan's Post note: These are a couple of my favorite Facebook updates, and yes, Michael really did wrestle a would-be mugger to the ground on the streets of NYC after work one night. I imagine it happened much like in West Side Story...when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way....