January 5th: Jen: Too much, too soon

My 2013

My year began like this; clock struck midnight…. I got sick with the flu! Happy New Year!! Umm no, the New Year blew it with me feeling like death without having a mass amount of alcohol to contribute to the feeling. My flu trickled down to my fiancé (he didn’t believe I was sick…. Sorry, women, ahem… mother’s don’t get to be “sick”) and then to my oldest daughter, thankfully not my youngest. Moving on into the second month of the year, after having an OBGYN yearly check up, my pap came back “abnormal” and so did the follow up, that April I ended getting a good portion of my cervix removed due to pre-cancerous cells… was told that I will never have another abnormal pap… well I did… and in 6 months I’ll see why. I changed from one job to another and then back… and I was also facing challenges with my fiancé.

A little bit about us is this; our relationship happened at hyper speed… not just fast, but really fast. We had been “together-ish” (there’s no real date that we started “dating”) for a full year when our first daughter was born if that gives you a good time line… oh and our kids… there 13 months apart…DON’T DO IT!!!!....the 13 months apart thing.  Both of us were raised two completely different ways and because of that, we both butt heads pretty often… I would like to venture in saying that, we have two

very different personalities as well.  In the first 6 months of the year, I had probably packed my bags and children at least four times? Most likely more… and moved to my sisters, the last time I left was after my surgery in April. I had no plans, no want to, nor really need to come back. I was over the relationship and its entirety and was not going to put our children through what was going on any longer. We could not stop fighting! Simple questions, wrong answer, sigh, etc... Would set each other off in a split second! Chris was verbally abusive and I have done my share of lying……. If you ask him, me being afraid of what was going to come out of his mouth or the possibility of day long fighting did not contribute to my lying… but in all honesty, a lot of it did. He made me feel like shit over the smallest of things, why would I want to tell him things that I was almost certain he would be opposed to of? I would much rather not tell him then get into another exhausting argument… with that said… you know the saying once you tell on lie, it just gets bigger and bigger, or you tell more and more…. That shits true! We both couldn’t control our major flaws… that was until the time I left and was never coming back… I think him and I knew that it was the end that we both just stopped. He went to therapy, and I tried my best to be honest. Granted, I should probably go to therapy… maybe I can get over stuff, work on my own flaws, etc, etc…meh... who knows, maybe I’ll add that to my list of New Year’s resolutions?

So, the first 6 months of the year blew…. But the last… they weren’t so bad!!! I ended up getting a new car in April? I’ve had the pleasure of going to Rangers games, a Cowboys game, and STARS game, Hannah started pre-school (LOVE LOVE LOVE)… though, I’m kind of jealous of my neighbors pre-school…MEAGAN!!! Haha. Had a great semester of school, got a brand new set of boobies!!! We purchased a travel trailer so we can see my sister and her family, along with my mom more often, I finally got to attend my families Christmas party (haven’t been in the past three years… you know having kids and all), there’s a ton more that I’m positive that I’m leaving out.

 

All in all the year has pretty much evened itself out. Hoping that the new year is a happy one all the way through, fingers crossed to no illness at midnight come the New Year as well as a possible fluke in having an abnormal pap result. Mine and Chris’ relationship, does still have its ups and downs from time to time, but, don’t they all! =)