Divorce.

 

I would say that Jeff and I are best friends, decent lovers and terrible partners. That sums it up pretty well. I think it’s the best friends part of the equation that has kept us together this long. But, as they say, all things must come to an end.

It’s the “partners” that we could never quite figure out. We communicate poorly together. I yell, he shuts down.  I name call and he gives low blows. I verbally pour my heart out and he gives one word replies. It was bound to happen and one night it did. I wouldn’t say we gave up. I would say that we were both at a place where neither was happy and content with our life. He has a path that I wasn’t willing to navigate and I have a plan that didn’t coordinate. These two roads intersected at one point, but no longer do.  The farther we got away from each other the more difficult it was to reconnect and eventually we just lost sight of each other.

So, it is with heavy heart that we have begun divorce proceedings. Luckily, I still love him and only wish him the best in life. We are both trying to find our own happiness in this crazy world and at this point we must go that road alone. (I promise I will cut out the road analogies henceforth.)

Our kids are an amazing gift from this love affair gone askew and we will forever continue to put them first. We may not be married, but we will always be family. A family who always wants the best for each other. A family who loves fiercely and fully. A family full of support and encouragement.  A family that couldn’t quite keep it all together. I am so very thankful for the lessons I have learned about both life and love and my hope is that when we emerge on the other side, we are happier, healthier versions of the people that we have left behind. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they use to be…and maybe you don’t want them to.

I think Joseph Campbell said it best, “we must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Life is waiting. I hear the knock.

xoxo