Realtors and Attorneys

Wednesday was a big day. I scheduled a meeting with the realtor in the morning and the divorce attorney for that afternoon. I figured if I was going to be emotionally tortured, I might as well get it all done within the same 12 hour period.

9:30am Wednesday: A realtor with Keller-Williams show up for our initial appointment. He is tall. Like unusually tall. Ella happily tours him through the house and shows him the backyard and her dolls. He makes his basic assessment, shows us some PowerPoint show on why we should chose his realty team, and then begins the worksheet. THE worksheet. The one that when all is said and done, (and paid and negotiated) contains the estimate on how much equity we have in our house once we sell. Drumroll please….

NOTHING! Best case scenario- we break even. Worst case scenario- we owe SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS! Holy fuck. That is not what I wanted to hear. Even with a $15k spread between what we owe and the selling price would only break even. OMG. We are staying married. We cannot afford to get a divorce! I want to cry. I tell the awkwardly tall guy that we are going to need some time to figure this out. We damn near usher him out the door. There is nothing left to say, the numbers just don’t work.

Defeated, Jeff goes into the bedroom and falls onto the bed. I follow him, crawl into the fetal position and let tears silently fall. Holy crap. We are screwed. Jeff puts his hand on my back and lightly rubs back and forth. This is the only physical contact we have had in weeks, despite sleeping in the same bed every night. It was comforting and sad all at the same time. Both the beginning and the end of an era in our lives.

10:30am: Not ones to have patience with emotions and loose ends, we set to work. I pull out a calculator and Jeff opens an Excel spreadsheet. After about 30 minutes of careful and thoughtful negotiations we figure out how to keep the house and pay our bills. Wow. There was no arguing, no cursing, just constructive negotiations to make our lives work within the parameters of our new family unit. We may not be married, but we are always family. I think we both truly understand and appreciate the sentiment.

12:30pm: I meet with the paralegal that will be handling the divorce. She is a family friend and got us an amazing friends and family price on the whole thing. She seriously saved our ass and we can now pay cash and keep our heads above water. We are filing an uncontested divorce agreement and have already worked out child custody, child support payments and everything in between. The lawyer was a bit shocked that we are still so amicable. Quite frankly, so am I. I think it boils down to the fact that we truly love one another and our family and are willing to put aside our differences to make this sad time as comfortable as possible. We all deserve to be happy. The papers will be sent in next week. So, in about 70 days I guess I can change my status to “divorced” although, I suppose it will always remain “complicated”.

2:30pm: I updated my Facebook status to something like "After this heavy day of realtors and attorneys, if we have to go through this crazy situation, then I am glad that Jeff Solomon is the one I have to do it with." I am sure it was slightly more eloquent then that, but maybe not, it didnt get any "likes", so I deleted the whole post. I think it must have weirded people out. But, its true. I am glad that he is with me through this whole fucked up time. There is a level of compassion between us that I didnt know was possible and has been both sweet and heartbreakingly suprising.

5:30pm: Girls night out. Oh, thank god.

11:30pm: I didn’t even need to take melatonin or a Xanax to get to sleep tonight. My mind was contented and my emotions totally drained.

8:00am Thursday: My first session with my new therapist. I call that perfect timing.

xoxo