Bat Shit Crazy

How do you learn to trust someone again when your heart has been shattered?

I don’t know. I honestly have no idea. I would like to say therapy, time and faith? How much therapy, how much time, how much faith? Again, I have no idea. I am just thinking out loud. While fucking around on Pinterest the other day I found this quote and totally think it describes me:

I have no idea what I am doing, thinking or feeling 99% of the time. Until I sit down at the computer with the ability to focus, edit and revise, I am a jumbled up mess. I need the opportunity to stop, collect my thoughts and then roll with whatever comes onto the screen. Sometimes it’s crazy like this:

“I am vindictive, evil and mean. Maybe I haven’t been clear. I am the kind of bitch that wants to make your mother hate you. I am Taylor Swift’s ex-boyfriends nightmare. I want you to feel pain and I want to enjoy it. I am a bitch. I would assume that most of my friends know this about me. I have an ugly space that I don’t like to go. It’s so ugly. Evil. Vindictive. Not someplace that I want to venture. But who knows, maybe I will…”

Ok, so maybe that was in the heat of the moment..aaaaaaaand that’s why I didn’t finish that post. I sound SUPER FUCKING CRAZY! I would like to think that we all have those moments and I venture to guess that a few of you are even grateful that I admitted to that craziness, mostly because you have been there before. I don’t have it all together. That is why I write. I can formulate my thoughts into little, controlled sound bites of my life. It can be very freeing to just lay it out there for the world to see.

See, I thought I was going to write a blog about trust and instead I cut and pasted some crazy nonsense I wrote after too many margaritas. My craziness is your gain. You are welcome.

xoxo